Engineers, what you need is a love education
We are the part of the generation that does not love and break up, but we confidently create the feeling that we are together because we are afraid to see each other with someone else.
The transformation of society is following the current social trend; our whole model of relationships with each other has been changed. This is due to a complex combination of technology, sexual release, mistrust to marriage, career focus, and increased freedom of movement.
Instead of creating a strong and meaningful relationship, we go through a protracted period of wretched dates and intrigues. We constantly swipe, like, and write one more message to someone new. It has substituted live communication. We falsely write about feelings that are in trend. We make some people friends, while others do the same with us. We do not go on dates anymore and do not bind ourselves; we just “have fun” together. We are involved in a culture of relationships that repeatedly precludes close ties. We have become a generation that is afraid to love.
According to millennials with a favored upbringing of the middle class, a look into the past is useful for recognizing the position of present-day relationships.
In the age of juvenility, we sincerely believed in the notion of veritable love. It was in movies, in classic TV shows, as well as in music. At the same time, there was a peak in economic activity in the world: salaries became high, and people began to feel the stability of their lives. Major economic success in combination with the growth of women’s freedom, and the coming up significance of happiness, rather than financial well-being, made people strive more for self-realization than for a safe life without high rates. Our parents were able to answer the question of how to get ahold of love and marry whom they really loved.
It is the same generation that has created the media of our childhood. The generation which created a lifestyle where all people deserve only soulmates but is also able to find it in the world among many people. This generation has created a shared apprehension of how to love.
But things come up. These allegedly self-fulfilling, perfect relationships started to erode and fall apart. The divorce rate among our parents has grown so much that some of us are children outlived divorce.
We grew up and went to universities, challenging our freedom and viability. The failures of parents in love were marginalized. We think of love after graduation. Thus, years passed, and we hardly concentrated on studies. If you start dating, then you miss the opportunities surrounding you.
At the same time, a range of technologies invaded daily life, undermining restricted soulful attention. This opportunity to be constantly online on social media but offline in life has led us to the fact that we have lost our ability to communicate with people in real life. Our nature still wanted intimacy, so we fill out the soul with news feed, snaps, tweets, likes, and other clicks. This brand of psychological reinforcement started to manage happiness to our own and mood instead of true human interactions.
In a modern relationship, a potential partner needs emotional support or does not need it at all, and that often leads to a loss of interest. We value choices, and society expects people to maintain emotional distance. We have the expectation that people will not be attached to us or interested in us in the early stages of relationships. And thus, a partner who shows interest higher than expected becomes too clingy and annoying, and as a result, we lose interest. If you are too sticky, then only one swipe will replace you. This does not mean that people do not have excellent, full-fledged relationships, but it becomes much more difficult to scale the emotional distance that we cultivate so carefully.
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