I feel I am lost for words right now. I am sitting here contemplating whether I should still pursue engineering or not. No matter what I do, I feel like my world revolves around my academics. I feel pressured. I feel exhausted. I feel like I’m going to suffer from a nervous breakdown one of these days. But here I am, staying in a course that has helped me mold into a person addicted to problems and challenges. This is what engineering school has done to me… real life Hunger Games!
From what started out as an ambition to earn a lot in this career, I quickly realized that entering engineering school wasn’t exactly easy. Heck, entering it was like entering hell. Terror professors in almost all subjects, competitive classmates and a lack of social life? What the hell did I sign up for? Clearly it’s not a stroll in a park. It feels like I found myself in my own version of The Hunger Games.
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If you’re not ready for battle in engineering school, you will get beaten up by insults from professors who have no patience for students who don’t do their homework. You will get beaten up by the stress that comes from assignments piling up, several major exams scheduled everyday and the heartbreak that comes from not being able to get that one point that will help you pass.
You have to compete with other students who will also do whatever it takes to pass and you also have to deal with the lack of sleep you’re dealing with everyday. We all need sleep yet engineering school is ruthless. It won’t give us any. Coffee shops and 24/7 convenience stores and fast food chains become our homes as we try to keep up with the numerous demands of our professors as we drink one cup of coffee after another. I am exhausted now and I feel like engineering has drained the life out of me. How do I even deal with this?
Then comes the anxiety attacks most engineering students like me experience every semester. Will I pass or will I have to tell my parents I will be taking the same subject next semester? Sometimes, when the pressure to perform well in school gets me, I end up crying in my room just to let it all out. Then I have to wipe my tears and try my best to make it through the day. This is what engineering school has done to me.
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I feel hopeless at times, yet all the hardships I went through made me believe that all of them will prepare me for the real world. So I fight. Because I want to become an engineer and the only way for me to achieve that is keep moving forward. No matter how hard engineering school is, I will persevere. Until one day, I’ll be glad to say that I made.
So this is what engineering school has done to me. It has made me a nervous wreck yet it also made me a stronger and better student. It made me a fighter who goes after what she wants and I will be an engineer one day.
