It started with a simple hello, right? Then you went out on a date and laughed at each other’s corny jokes. Then, you wanted to know how his/her day went all the time. You went out on study dates with your friends and then made love in your small apartment every time your roommate left the two of you alone. A few months later, you woke up and realized that you’re madly in love with this person. You saw yourself addicted to the idea this person could be the one you’d spend the rest of your life with. When you finally became a couple, you promised each other you’d graduate together, pass the board exam together and start your lives as engineers together.
As soon as everything became a routine – doing everything together – you constantly fought over the little things. Both of you started keeping secrets from each other. You can no longer stand each other’s company yet you’re afraid to lose each other. Until one day, both of you realized that you just have to part ways. You broke up eventually. All the time and effort you invested on each other were thrown away.
The love is gone now but you, my dear reader, still find yourself devastated over the person who broke your heart. Even if you don’t want to admit it, sometimes the love’s gone but the pain is still there. It’s been there for quite some time already.
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You wake up wondering if that person still thinks of you. You ask your friends if that person has moved on already. You hold on to the idea that there’s a chance you’ll still end up with that person. Until one day, you see your ex with somebody else already, looking at him(/her) with the same look you fell in love with before. Your heart shatters into a million pieces. You just end up getting hurt more from the reality that there’s no longer a “we” in the story. Just you.
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Yes, it’s not easy to give yourself to someone and then realize it was all for nothing. Having to struggle school and committing yourself to a person are not easy tasks to do simultaneously. Yet, you took a risk and now you’re here – alone and heartbroken. Yes, it’s not going to be easy to get over someone whom you trusted to love you at all times but failed to do so.
Getting over someone is a painful process. I won’t tell you to immediately go find someone else in order for you to heal. No, that doesn’t help. It may even make things worse. Here’s what I advise you to do: focus on your studies, focus on yourself.
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Thinking about how that person is having fun with someone else will make you miserable. Focusing on that major exam you need to pass will help you…pass, obviously.
Wondering if all the love you had for him will ever fade away could end up with you crying in your room alone. Working on your thesis will help you beat the deadline.
Reaching out to your ex is definitely a bad idea if you want to get over that person. Spending time with your classmates preparing for a project will help you realize that if you open your heart to your friends, you’ll have the most amazing time ever.
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Locking yourself up in your room will just prove how alone you are. Putting yourself out there, joining people you share the same passions with will teach you how your world should be a place, not a person.
Reminiscing while looking at old photos of you together will leave you with a heavy heart and no will to live. Focusing on your studies, graduating and finally becoming an engineer (without your ex beside you) will give you the will to live a better life, become a better engineer in order for you to provide a good life for yourself while making a difference to your community.
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Yes, getting over someone will never be easy. Time heals but it’s not going to happen in one night or in one week. It’s okay to cry though. It’s okay to grab a bottle of beer and acknowledge that yes, you are not okay. But I urge you to use that pain as motivation to get better, to focus on what matters and to become the engineer you’ve always wanted to be.
Oh, don’t worry! You’ll eventually get over your ex. You’ll have so much fun living your life and focusing on yourself to the point that you’ll forget your ex’s name.
