I was one of the better students in high school, and it all changed when I pursued engineering—my story when I entered engineering college.
I stepped into engineering school with a solid grasp that I would conquer every subject that I would be dealing with.
I came in with a conviction that I would get out of the university with flying colors, just like how I ended my high school being top of the class.
But as the first few weeks of college came by, I was startled.
Valedictorian
In the hundreds of first-year engineering students with me, there were many valedictorians, salutatorians, and honor students that I have met coming from different high schools. They were all competitive.
My batch was basically a congregation of brilliant minds ready to fight for the highest academic standings.
Expectations failed
My frustrations started when I failed to meet my expectations exam after exam.
It got worse when I saw that many others were always better performing than I am in every engineering class I was in. Many others were smarter than I am.
Many others were the teachers’ apples of the eye.
Some days, I was able to level with them, but I wasn’t able to most days.
The toughness of the civil engineering course may be a factor. But mainly, it depended on my capacity.
There were a couple of times that I had the chance to prove myself in class that I belong to the ranks of the honor students or on the dean’s list, but sadly, I didn’t deliver.
I felt that my star had already lost its usual sparkle.
My insecurity and my incompetence had swallowed me whole. I was one of the better students in my high school, and it all changed when I pursued engineering.
I was just a mediocre engineering student. That was a bitter pill to swallow for me.
What went wrong in engineering college?
It took me a while before I found out what was wrong with the way I was thinking: I had a complex that was hungry for attention and achievement.
I felt a longing to be noticed while desiring to be on top of others.
I took it out of my system as soon as I realized that.
All I did then was study engineering with all my might. I carried on – as if there’s something I could do with my past – still with the conviction that I will become a civil engineer someday.
I failed my exams and quizzes once in a while as regular students do.
But I aced some of them, too, although it only happened on a few episodes of my engineering college life.
I was inconsistent, but I could not care less.
All well ends well in engineering college
Somehow, I finished my civil engineering course in the minimum time possible. I was able to survive the wrath of engineering with that critical shift of perspective when I was a freshman.
I walked through my commencement exercise with the confidence of an honor student but without the honor.
Now, I’m a licensed civil engineer.
Looking back to my crisis, I came to realize a golden lesson that I will cherish in my lifetime: in engineering or any sort, I do not need to be the best – what’s important is I am doing my best, and that’s more than enough.
