Source: Couple Finance
Money can’t buy happiness, but it’s the thing that keeps you alive. It holds a lot of power, and for a couple, it can make or break their relationship. The root of the problem with money problems lie in the way couples misunderstand it- whether it be how they handle it, how they spend it, and how they talk about it. So in order to prevent any fights, Quora user Jen Elmquist, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Relationship Specialist, and author of Relationship Reset gives us 4 tips to help us understand how to truly go about the topic of money as a couple.
Communication is key
Source: Giphy
A lot of conflicts come from a lack of discussion on money itself. Most people think that it is taboo to talk about money and finance, and often withhold it to their partners until it starts to cause some problems.
So talk to each other. Talk about each of your financial histories. Reveal even the most personal financial secrets, like your student loans or bank debts or investments. “Without these conversations assumptions are made, damaging secrets can be kept, and the freedom of being known and accepted is impossible to achieve.”
Discuss your values
Values are what drive and form individuals. It also affects how we think about and spend our money. However, when two people come together, even the smallest difference in values can cause arguments. Take for example, a couple with one who values financial security, and the other values experiences. One will less likely spend money and save it, while the other is more likely to spend it on trips, vacations, outings, or even dates.
Being unable to discuss their difference in values can cause a conflict for this couple, so they need to make it clear what they’re willing to spend money on and what they’re not. And when conflicts in values arise, find a middle ground that both of you can be happy with.
How much can you tolerate?
Source: Giphy
Tolerance refers to how much financial risk an individual is willing to take with their money. While one person will be comfortable with having just a small balance in their account, the other might have a higher threshold in which they will feel comfortable in. Like the previous point, this gap can cause conflicts, so it’s best to discuss it with each other and find a middle ground you’re both comfortable with.
Timing and urgency
Finally, urgency refers to how soon is someone likely to pay bills, deposit checks, and do their taxes. Each person will have a different sense of timing, which can cause disagreement and discomfort. Usually, the best solution here is to have the person with a higher sense of urgency (i.e. is more likely to pay ASAP) organize these payments. As a couple, you could do a monthly check of your finances to make sure you are both aware of your financial situation, and what you still need to accomplish.
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